im 6 months pregnant. whoa.

i soooo do not feel like blogging. i dont know why. maybe i'll make a list of pregnancy woes.
-leg/feet cramps that wake me up in the middle of the night. sometimes in both legs at once.
-baby continuously kicking my bladder, and everything else.
-muscles i didnt even know i had in my groin area being painfully sore. wanna roll over? ouch. wanna move my leg? ouch. wanna do anything? yeah, ouch.
-heartburn! got it for the first time the other night, thought i was gonna die.
-having to pee alllll the time.
-my boobs are bigger. quit looking!

ok thats not very many things, im probably forgetting a bunch. or im just a wuss.

appointment with the specialist got pushed up to tomorrow, so im pretty excited about that. another ultrasound plus hopefully some answers is definitely something to look forward to. oh and i get to leave work at 11 :]

me and the baby went to check shit out at the beach after work today. look how small the belly looks in this picture!

death vomit.

maybe once a month im able to write. other times nothing comes to me. i feel like a moron.
im still sick everyday. im getting pretty convinced im carrying a little devil baby, horns and all. which josh just pointed out to me will hurt the bitchload to deliver. great. anyway i finally caved in and called the doctor this morning so they could call in a prescription for some anti-nausea medication. i guess insurances dont like to cover this particular one so it may cost me the assfuck. theres another brand or something they can prescribe that will be covered by insurance but its not recommended as much? dunno that i really want to take it so we'll see.
yesterday was one of those days were i felt thisclose to barfing the entire day. only puked a total of 5 or 6 times but that meant i basically couldnt keep anything down. not a pretzel and a juice box, not a fruit popsicle, not one waffle with syrup. apparently if i have a few more days like that the doctor said i'll have to go to the emergency room and get an iv. which just costs more money but hey at least i'll be able to skip work!
holy hell i just found this picture on google images. perfection.

in other news, led zeppelin is currently playing on the ipod. me and the boy are house/cat/fish-sitting for a week, maybe two. its sorta like staying in a hotel, even though ive housesat at this particular place before. theres even a pool but its way to cold to consider going in. we even went food shopping together for the first time. i like doing things like that and having my own little home...only a few more months hopefully till we get our own place. i belong on my own, not living with someones family. ok enough blah blah blah-ing for now.

i dont even know what to blog about anymore!

jam of the day~

this group is totally underrated.

Every Little Thing I Do - Soul For Real

as is quite obvious, ive been slacking in the blogging department. im kind of losing interest i think? i dunno i was offline for almost a whole week and i just havent really felt like getting back into the swing of things. heartbreaking, i know.

im sick!

sicksicksick.
ugh.

new years eve recap

i hate holidays. i just dont like them. clearly they are unavoidable. although some are easier to avoid than others, new years eve is not one of those. people have been setting off fireworks for awhile now, probably about two weeks. gearing up for the big day i guess.
of course as soon as i start recording they stop, but these booming fireworks had been going off for about 5 minutes already. they reverbrate all up and down the mountains...it sounds so trippy in real life.

oh and now that i think about it, that video was taken the day before, on december 30th. moving along...me, kel, and his friend went down to the river on new years eve evening. its so crazily pretty down there. i took a couple polaroids, kels friend shot at some tadpoles, and keli caught some. apparently we are now raising 5 little tadpoles.

we came back up to the house, set off a couple fireworks in the backyard and hit up the gravity bong. btw, i officially dislike it. burns my throat and tastes nasty. yeckk.

roaches, polaroid, trail mix. i is happy :]

the rest of the pictures are kind of...abstract. use your imagination. we moved to the front of the house for a little while.



hand held bottle rockets. not always a good idea.


around 11:30ish we drove a couple streets over to a friends house. they had the assload of fireworks.




oh and since when do poppers look like this?? totally miss the old style, twisted up paper balls..these are fun too though.

this could have been a much cooler picture.

right before midnight we walked up the street so we could see pretty much all of kaneohe. soooo smokey.

midnight explosions. i didnt want to miss out on the joints being passed around and everything so i kinda got the least exciting part on camera.

oh and haha i almost forgot. suuuch a stoner moment. i had been trying to catch these huge aerials that were going off and i could never catch them on time. i finally managed to, and then i realized i had been taking a video instead of a picture. which actually is a better idea anyway lol.


thank god we are done with major holidays for awhile.

bowie, my love

mele kalikimaka

alright alright. merry christmas :] im going out to dinner in an hour or so with my mom, dad, and 3 younger sisters. should be alright. hopefully were not gone toooooo long. im sitting in the garage right now because were going to smoke and i am effing freezing. a skirt, kids tshirt, and slippers = not warm enough right now. brr.

i havent blogged in days.

*image at ffffound.

see thom, i told you i need your help.

*image from ffffound

ive been slacking

i never get around to posting weed pictures...im not even sure when these are from, maybe a week or so ago. sour diesels again, i think.

last night we decided to start smoking some of our roach collection because it was f-u-l-l.

and this is what we have now. agaaaain i think its sour diesel. truthfully im ready for something new. good thing i got reconnected with an old acquaintance yesterday...hes got a nice selection to choose from.

*sigh*

i wish i could feel total contentment again.


*image from ffffound.com

every little thing i do your on my mind

dear cigarettes,
it has been a couple of weeks since our last get-together; you know why. i miss you. why do you have to make my throat kind of phlegmy? why do you make me feel like barfing on occasion? if it werent for those things, we'd be pals! well, you do sorta stink, but i dont mind too much :] maybe im wrongly blaming you for my ailments...i am constantly plagued my nausea, exhaustion, and other related things. i'm obviously capable of walking away from you, and knowing that is a nice feeling. how about this, we'll start seeing each other again on a trial basis. now dont get your hopes up, im talking maybe a smoke here, a smoke at the end of the week...very casual. cigarettes, i miss you. just dont hold your breath for my return.

yours when i feel like it,
alissa

power pause

a friend ive made on twitter wanted me to read something. so i did. its a sort of self-help story. generally i find self-help books to be extremely cheesy, but i tend to read them from time to time. i guess kinda as some food for thought. this was a good, easy read. its called power pause and i have it in a 124 page .pdf
its principles are based on simplicity and thats something i think everyone can appreciate.
i'll gladly email it to anyone whos got an interest.

nice one, alissa.

i was all set up to take some pictures of the weed whennnn...my camera wouldnt turn on. ok great, the battery is dead. wait, where the fuck is the battery charger? no new pictures this weekend unless i take a few crappy ones with my blackberry.


*image found here

i exploded today.

and it was sad.

now i'll probably throw up.
and i cant really see anything.

so no pictures of the weed. next time.
on a brighter note, i have re-realized how much i love smoking alone. i want to start doing it a lot more often again. but im rarely alone anymore. and that makes me sad.

full circle.

i have the worst memory ever.

re-upped last night. this time we got some diesel. or wait, was that what we had last time? i totally forgot to photograph/write about that. i do remember that it wasnt as good as the sweet & sour stuff we had the time before. the nugs were like..rocks. anyway, i'll defintely get some pictures of our new buds.

question: why does work have to be so incredible loooooong and painfully (literally) boring?

winner receives an oatmeal raisin nut cookie.

blog, revisited.

this is a blog entry i made on myspace almost 2 years ago:

December 27, 2006 - Wednesday

i've got it


so this is my 5 year plan. and its very important to me.

present - year and a half from now : work on getting healthy, gaining some weight, finish up school.

after that : get pregnant. whoo!

after that : do daycare in my home so im able to stay home with my little baby and also earn some money at the same time. i should have my associates in early childhood education by then so that will help a lot.

now...to convince my lover about this...

a lot has changed since then, yet this is all still very important to me. first, i somehow royally fucked up the relationship i was in while this was written. the 'lover' i spoke of, god, he was awesome. it was one of the best, most happiest relationships i had been in. then i fucked it up. so yeah, i got a little side tracked. my health definetly hasnt improved as much as i'd have liked it to. actually there were some ups and down in that area. i have not finished my school yet, which is sort of sad but im close, i promise!
actually a lot of negative shit has gone on in my life in the almost 2 years since i wrote that, a lot of things that i dont feel publicly sharing.
on a brighter note, ive got a new boyfriend now and we make each other happy :] there is an age difference between us that sometimes concerns me but im trying to just go with the flow. i dont know if this makes me scared or more like 'whatever', but i have no idea what my future holds for me.

saturday night.

im drinking wine and i went to the mall today. bizzaro...

yawn.

wow, im too tired to blog. ive been feeling reeeeally exhausted lately and it sucks. a lot. im not really sure how to fix this because im pretty sure i get an adequate amount of sleep. this picture is pretty much unrelated. goodnight :]